The MOON!

It is the full moon night,
The moon is big and so bright,
It lights up the darkness sky,
With many stars are near by,
I sit alone on the roof wondering if someone out there have the same habit of being liked,
Viewing the moon and stars when they are sad inside,
Or when they are feeling not so right,
Or when they are missing those beautiful lies,
From someone they promise to love till they die,
Or just when they are falling in love with someone else nice,
That make them feel so high,
Or that make them feel they cannot anymore hide,
But no matter what reasons of their insides,
The viewers would leave little smile,
With little hope that never dies,
And it is their future might that leads then to a win fight........never lose hope!
THE MOON, I miss you!

Let Her Go!

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow,
Only know you love her when you let her go,

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low,
Only missing road when you're missing home,
Only know you love her when you let her go,
and you let her go.

Staring at the bottom of your glass,
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last,
But dream comes slow and they go so fast,

You see her when you close your eyes,
and one day you'll understand why,
Everything you tough, and it dies,

Staring at the ceiling in the dark,
Same old empty feeling in your heart,
Cause Love comes and it goes so fast,

When you see her when you fall asleep,
and never to tough and never to keep,
Cause you love her too much and you dive to deep,

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow,
Only know you love her when you let her go,
and you let her go......................................

Game Over!

I have been to IFL siting alone with a very headache and almost fall down. I walked up and down, front and back, went to all canteen and also went to library or all banks of wells. After hours of waiting and searching, finally, I realize that she has really gone. She will never come back.

Never and ever.........

I miss you!!!

It has been quite long time since you decided to leave me. How are you? Your health is ok? Gain any weight? How is your heart? Are you still remember me?

I still read your long sms you sent to me. and everytime I read, it touches my heart. I am also still viewing our sms in the chat converstation during my stay in Japan. They are sweet and I can feel back how life during that time was. It was a nice time to me.


I want that life back, sometimes.


Of course, I miss you and listen to your songs most of the night!

Complicated!!!!

Time flies is always said by many people. But, I admit that 2012 is just too fast; It is too fast.

There are million things came across my life. Many complicated things; many unexpected things and many unwanted things. 

It seems that the whole year of 2012 had been spent for only work. Starting at 7am-6 to 7 or 8 pm. Yes.....sometimes, I just got too tired. But I do love my work. It keeps me learning new things. My ACCA course had been zero for the whole year. No paper had been examed as I most of the time spent my weekend with my boss at the province doing some social and political work.

I really have no time to even think about my past or even has not time to review what I have done from day to day. Each day, I just survive with working and enjoying life with whatever I can. This is the only way that keep me away from being sad. 

To this point, I really doubt what makes me sad?? Don't ask me, I myself have no idea what is going on with my head. But, to what I have known, maybe I have done so much wrong about sth or with someone. 

I had car crash twice; one time was serious and I don't know whether the one who hit my car still alive or what.......I felt so regret for not be responsible for what I had encountered. But, everytime I go to pagoda, I always wish that guy a better life and hope that god cut some of my age for him/her. That is not possible, I know, but I have no idea what I can do for the victim. Sorry guy.......I have cried for u too.....I do wish that you are alive and have already recovered from the wound. Best wish to you.......

I can tell you that I have lost myself in 2012. I don't what is going on...Maybe too much stress? too lonely? too scary?? whatever it is...........all are my faults................

I also lost my most favorite poetry and writing book. This book is really handy for me. Every time I read it or write on it, it just makes me feel good, comfortable and encourage. I have read and written about it for more than two years but I lost it in 2012. I really have no idea why I lost it. I am so forgetful, careless and stupid. The book is called Mic; I bought it from Japan during Tsunami time. Now it is gone, but every minute I am free or before my bed time, I always miss it and recall my memory on it. Those sweet words I wrote and those poem I made. I do hope that one day I can just find it back. But, maybe it is just a dream. I love it and still love it forever. 

See?? my writing is damn bad. I cannot organize my ideas well. This can tell that my brain is stupidly disordered. I am trying to find myself back and set up my living life again. I can't let work dominates too much on my life. I need to balance...............

Hate my writing.................and hate myself too, these day.

I will rewrite this writing again on my holiday...........................sigh......

LOVE!!!

LOVE...

I LOVE THE CONCEPT OF LOVE
TO BE IN LOVE
TO FEEL LOVE

BUT I HAVE ABUSED THE WORD OF LOVE
USED THE ONE WHO LOVED

I LOVE THE FEELING OF LOVE
THE DEPTH OF LOVE

BUT I HAVE RUINED THE EMOTION OF LOVE
THE SENSITIVITY OF LOVE

I LOVE TO BE TOUCHED BY LOVE
MADE BY LOVE
MAKE LOVE

BUT I HAVE MISTREATED THE CARESS FROM LOVE
THE KISS OF LOVE

I LOVE TO LOVED BY LOVE
BOUND BY LOVE

BUT I HAVE LOST THAT LOVE
I BROKE MY LOVE
AND NEGLECTED OUR LOVE

I LOVE TO PICTURE LOVE
PAINT LOVE

BUT I HAVE DRIED LOVE
STOLEN LOVE

I LOVE TO WALK WITH LOVE
TALK TO ME LOVE
SAY IT AGAIN LOVE
OVER AND OVER…LOVE
BUT I HAVE RAN FROM LOVE
MUTED THE WORD LOVE
AGAIN AND AGAIN…LOVE

I LOVE TO LOVE YOU STILL LOVE
FEEL LOVE
HEAR LOVE
SPEAK LOVE

LOVE ME LOVE
LOVE MY KIND OF LOVE
LOVE THIS LOVE
LOVE…LOVE…LOVE...

I AM LOVE…


lerato shuping

You always broke up your promise!!

From the first day that I know you, I do remember very single word you said to me; especially, all your promises to me! I really have nothing to say at all, since you are not mine anymore and you don't love me anymore. Your heart just for only your man! I am just a loser that you abandoned and you would never consider anything and you would never remember what you had promised me!

Yes, you never put me in your heart! and maybe you did not even remember your sadness day when you were broken up with your boyfriend. And you never know that how hard I had tried to comfort you, to make you smile and to make you feel warm. Finally, you just put me down and broke up my heart and left me cruelly. You just left me the feeling that your ex-boy friend gave to you!

But I can tell you that I am 1 million times hurter than yours.....You dropped out one tear but I dropped out 1,000 tears. I am so disappointed to love and to give all my heart and care to a liar. I do hate a liar but finally I met a big liar.....

I dont angry you because it is your right to break up with me, to abandon me and to lie to me; but I do hate myself since I can't stop this feeling sometimes.

Where is the moon tonight?

It is 3 am Saturday night. It is really a quiet night ever. I am sitting trying looking for the moon and the stars in the sky. But, I really cant find any one of them tonight. The wind blows strongly; the crickets are singing; the dogs are barking and people in the world are sleeping. But why I cant sleep at all. I cant concentrate on my stupid assignments and I dont really know what I am thinking of now. But, I just sense that my heart is crying for something. He told me that he felt like a fish out of water. I asked him what you really mean? He replied he did not know but just felt like that.

Then I asked him. Do you miss your previous owner? He replied that " not really". I asked another question that Are you falling in love with someone? He told me that " not really". Then I asked another question that Do you wanna have another owner? Again, he reacted that " not really". Then I realized that even though our brain is super educated or whatever, our brain never understands our heart language.

Every time I feel this way, I always go up to my roof and stair at the moon or stars then make a conversation with them. They always keep quiet and listen to every single word of mine. Their smiling seems to give me hopes and motivation. Even though, they say nothing, I feel that they always say the phrase "Go on, go on. Forget the past, do ur best in the present and dont worry about the future". Thanks for always supporting me, giving me hope, being there when I need and never giving me up. Thanks indeed.

A person who truely love you will never let you go, no matter how hard the situation is!

"A person who truely loves you will never let you go, no matter how hard the situation is" is a phrase that always remains in my brain. Before the 10th April 2010, I was a person who strongly believed in love. I always felt proud to have a girlfriend. I always introduced my girlfriend to everyone I know and told them her positive ways.

Being with her, I swore that never would I give up her alone. I would abandon everything including my work, my study and even my family. I told myself that I would never let my girl drop any tear because of me. I would make her to feel that she would be the luckiest girl in the world. I would let she know that choosing me as her husband was the right choice for her.

I used to think that nothing in this world I could not do or solve. Yet, when she called to me saying goodbye, I could not do anything but shedding my tear and heart instead. I really never dropped any tear since I was mature. But that time, my tear was unstoppable. My heart did not listen to me anymore. My brain seemed to stop working. My legs could not move. My hands tried to stop my tear dropped. My tear almost became an ocean. It was unforgettable.

Even though I am a stupid person in terms of characteristic, to love and to my girlfriend I am just a soft and weak person. Everyone who knows me would physically view that I am just an aggressive person; yes, in working and studying I am. I almost find no weakness in working and studying; I mean I always success. But people have to remember that no one is perfect. So, LOVE is in what I am worse.

I am an extreme person. If I love something or someone, I would never keep any percentage for another person or thing or even for myself. Because I think that only being an extreme person, I can taste the real meaning of those stuff, so does love.

I also ask the question that " why a person cant give up everything just for a person we love?" Why do lovers leave his/her beloved by saying that they still love the left persons? Just for a while, I came out with the above phrase that " A person who truely loves us will never let us go, no matter how hard the situation is". If she/he goes or leaves us, no matter the reason, she/he just doesn't love you enough. She/he doesn't mean or deserve your true love for them. No need to feel guilty since we are not the one break up promise and abandon our belovers.

True love is unlimited sacrifice. If someone thinks that he/she sacrifies enough for their love, they never know what exactly the meaning of true love. So, dont regret their leaving. Let it be!!!

Why still missing her???

If someone would often read my facebook posts and this blog, they would feel terrible about how I am so crazy with LOVE. But I dont care at all. If truely loving someone is wrong, I dont want to be right at all.

Today is the 6th November and it is the day that i feel so depressed because of missing a girl. I really wanna know how is she? she lives happily; she is not sick; does she has enough sleep and eat. Esp. I wanna know wheather is she still thinking and missing me like I do?

It is funny for me. There are many girls that I can give my love to or they can comfort me....but why my heart seems to be so stupid. It seems that my heart still not yet gets used to living without missing her and worrying of her.

Come on, she has her husband already. Do you think that you are the super man for her? Only you can make her smile and feel warm. Forget your stupid idea and clear out your stupid feeling. This term you have 8 courses and also write thesis; or you wanna fail your master here??

It is almost 8 months, so she already forget you hery na! You remembered she told you that she stopped loving you? She Loves that man, that is why she married that man. If she truely loves you, she would not abadon you in the very sad situation and in the time that you really need a person to talk to and comform te.

Just remember that "No True Love in this World". True love exists only in Novels or movies.

Does breaking love affect me???

Broken heart is such a hard-to-cure wound. She broken up with me on the 10th April 2010 at 10:30 Japanese time. As caculating, it has been 5 months now. Have this breaking affected me?? Yes, it surely does. Since she left me, it seems to me that I am living alone in this big world. Since she left me, I do not know which way should I walk since all my life plans are just for her. Since she left me, I am so sensitive and high tempered. Since she left me, time seems to walk so slow. Since she left me, I really lost myself. Since she left me, my study becomes worse. Since she left me, I usually go crazy. Since she left me, I lost all my belief in love. Since she left me, I feel so tired with life. Since she left me........I just know that how much I really love her. Since she left me, I am still the same; still missing her; still worrying of her; still dreaming of her; still lying myself that she is waiting for my return.

Yesterday (04 Aug 2010), I got my last term result--the term that I was so blue and super down. Within my 8 courses, I got 6 A, 1 B and 1 C. I really wanna cry, while seeing my grade. I cant get all A or A+. My GPA dropped from 4.2 to 3.9. I really feel ashamed to other foreinger friends who got nicer grade and higher GPA than me. I feel ashamed that I have made Camdodia down; I feel ashamed that I allow Love to ruin my study. Yet, I never feel ashamed or upset to have her as my girl even though she broke her million promises; even though she hurt me too much; even though I almost die because of her.....I still keep in mind that.........she has her own difficulties and reasons.....

I really can forgive her, but I am sure that never will I forget.....that....

Chet Mnus Srey pit chea dach nasssssss!

Today is Sunday 19th September 2010! It is the day that I strongly expect to see my ex girlfriend face. Even though she married to another man, but in my heart and brain alway think of her, worry of her and wanna see her live happily. I really wanna see her nas, so I ask her friend to arrange a meeting among friends so she would come and I could see her. But what I expect just like the same, she never cares of me. As she knows i would be in the meeting too, she asks her friend to bring her huband with her. I feel disappointed and really know her heart today.

What I had done for her for the past several years would never satify her at all. Maybe she never had true love with me at all. Or maybe she loves two men at the same time........................................................................................................

Still the same!!

Three months passed, but it means three years to be here. The lonely feeling is still stick with me. Really try not to be so, however, I am still the slave of loneliness. Studying is being busy, but it can't help me get out of the world of being alone. I am lonely within the group of millions of poeple.

My brain, my heart and my body appear to be seperated. Sometimes, I don't know where I am or what I am doing. I don't know when I am able to be not isolated or alone in this modern life Japan...

A Silent Love!

Long time ago, there were a man and a girl who fell in love with each other. From the very Beginning, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background,& that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.

Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?"

As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence.

After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"

The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged.

The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.

One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realised that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She has lost her voice......

The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down.

During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,.....it's still just silence cry that companied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.

With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, and countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying....

The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.

With a new environment, the girl learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.

A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead.

When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You. With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

U see we don't know what our future holds...
Sometimes it's hard but later u realize whatever happens happens 4 the best..
never b faint hearted or loose hope coz surely after every hardship there is ease infact a better life to come......
Trust on God and leave ur life in his hands.....
May God Fulfill all good & lawful wishes....

I Miss Her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This pic was taken before I leave for Tokyo. Maybe a week to fly, I, my darling and my frens went to Kompong Som and stayed for two days. It was unforgotten memories. I and my darling have been loving each other for two years but this was the first time that we have had a chance to visit a far-distance resort together. I really miss her and want to meet her everyday. Unfortunately, now I am far away. Only the pics of her that I can look at and hold. Muy Neati Ney Kar Rong Cham, Breab Doch Muy Chnam Ney Kar Ros Nov. What does a two-year-of waiting mean to those waiters????????????? Only time can explain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So what I can do????????????

A child is better!

When I was a child, I would believe that in the nothing world consist of many angels. I always tried to look at the sky in the very hot sunshine and even in the black moon. I really expected that I would see the beautiful Tevadas. I tried looking for them days after days. Albeit, it was a stupid belief, it was meaningful to me. Living as a child was a so happy life of human! Nothing to think, nothing to worry, always staying beside parents and relatives and playing around with frens.

But now everying is completely different. Most of my life time is dealing with my work, and my stupid learning. Even though I always succeed with my working and studying, I still not satify with it at all. I would prefer sitting looking for my dreaming angel to involving in this busy world. I don't like this world, maybe!

My First Time in Japan, Niigata!

Hi every body,

Today I am over the moon to have my own blog. Actually, I do not want to create it, but when i come to Japan, I feel that I want to establish it so as to memorize and share with you all of how my life in Japan goes.

Via this blog, I hope to keep in touch with you and share happiness and difficulties together.

Finally, I wish you all the best.

Cordially,


Soklong