Why still missing her???

If someone would often read my facebook posts and this blog, they would feel terrible about how I am so crazy with LOVE. But I dont care at all. If truely loving someone is wrong, I dont want to be right at all.

Today is the 6th November and it is the day that i feel so depressed because of missing a girl. I really wanna know how is she? she lives happily; she is not sick; does she has enough sleep and eat. Esp. I wanna know wheather is she still thinking and missing me like I do?

It is funny for me. There are many girls that I can give my love to or they can comfort me....but why my heart seems to be so stupid. It seems that my heart still not yet gets used to living without missing her and worrying of her.

Come on, she has her husband already. Do you think that you are the super man for her? Only you can make her smile and feel warm. Forget your stupid idea and clear out your stupid feeling. This term you have 8 courses and also write thesis; or you wanna fail your master here??

It is almost 8 months, so she already forget you hery na! You remembered she told you that she stopped loving you? She Loves that man, that is why she married that man. If she truely loves you, she would not abadon you in the very sad situation and in the time that you really need a person to talk to and comform te.

Just remember that "No True Love in this World". True love exists only in Novels or movies.

Does breaking love affect me???

Broken heart is such a hard-to-cure wound. She broken up with me on the 10th April 2010 at 10:30 Japanese time. As caculating, it has been 5 months now. Have this breaking affected me?? Yes, it surely does. Since she left me, it seems to me that I am living alone in this big world. Since she left me, I do not know which way should I walk since all my life plans are just for her. Since she left me, I am so sensitive and high tempered. Since she left me, time seems to walk so slow. Since she left me, I really lost myself. Since she left me, my study becomes worse. Since she left me, I usually go crazy. Since she left me, I lost all my belief in love. Since she left me, I feel so tired with life. Since she left me........I just know that how much I really love her. Since she left me, I am still the same; still missing her; still worrying of her; still dreaming of her; still lying myself that she is waiting for my return.

Yesterday (04 Aug 2010), I got my last term result--the term that I was so blue and super down. Within my 8 courses, I got 6 A, 1 B and 1 C. I really wanna cry, while seeing my grade. I cant get all A or A+. My GPA dropped from 4.2 to 3.9. I really feel ashamed to other foreinger friends who got nicer grade and higher GPA than me. I feel ashamed that I have made Camdodia down; I feel ashamed that I allow Love to ruin my study. Yet, I never feel ashamed or upset to have her as my girl even though she broke her million promises; even though she hurt me too much; even though I almost die because of her.....I still keep in mind that.........she has her own difficulties and reasons.....

I really can forgive her, but I am sure that never will I forget.....that....

Chet Mnus Srey pit chea dach nasssssss!

Today is Sunday 19th September 2010! It is the day that I strongly expect to see my ex girlfriend face. Even though she married to another man, but in my heart and brain alway think of her, worry of her and wanna see her live happily. I really wanna see her nas, so I ask her friend to arrange a meeting among friends so she would come and I could see her. But what I expect just like the same, she never cares of me. As she knows i would be in the meeting too, she asks her friend to bring her huband with her. I feel disappointed and really know her heart today.

What I had done for her for the past several years would never satify her at all. Maybe she never had true love with me at all. Or maybe she loves two men at the same time........................................................................................................

Still the same!!

Three months passed, but it means three years to be here. The lonely feeling is still stick with me. Really try not to be so, however, I am still the slave of loneliness. Studying is being busy, but it can't help me get out of the world of being alone. I am lonely within the group of millions of poeple.

My brain, my heart and my body appear to be seperated. Sometimes, I don't know where I am or what I am doing. I don't know when I am able to be not isolated or alone in this modern life Japan...

A Silent Love!

Long time ago, there were a man and a girl who fell in love with each other. From the very Beginning, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background,& that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.

Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?"

As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence.

After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"

The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged.

The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.

One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realised that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She has lost her voice......

The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down.

During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,.....it's still just silence cry that companied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.

With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, and countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying....

The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.

With a new environment, the girl learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.

A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead.

When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You. With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

U see we don't know what our future holds...
Sometimes it's hard but later u realize whatever happens happens 4 the best..
never b faint hearted or loose hope coz surely after every hardship there is ease infact a better life to come......
Trust on God and leave ur life in his hands.....
May God Fulfill all good & lawful wishes....

I Miss Her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This pic was taken before I leave for Tokyo. Maybe a week to fly, I, my darling and my frens went to Kompong Som and stayed for two days. It was unforgotten memories. I and my darling have been loving each other for two years but this was the first time that we have had a chance to visit a far-distance resort together. I really miss her and want to meet her everyday. Unfortunately, now I am far away. Only the pics of her that I can look at and hold. Muy Neati Ney Kar Rong Cham, Breab Doch Muy Chnam Ney Kar Ros Nov. What does a two-year-of waiting mean to those waiters????????????? Only time can explain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So what I can do????????????

A child is better!

When I was a child, I would believe that in the nothing world consist of many angels. I always tried to look at the sky in the very hot sunshine and even in the black moon. I really expected that I would see the beautiful Tevadas. I tried looking for them days after days. Albeit, it was a stupid belief, it was meaningful to me. Living as a child was a so happy life of human! Nothing to think, nothing to worry, always staying beside parents and relatives and playing around with frens.

But now everying is completely different. Most of my life time is dealing with my work, and my stupid learning. Even though I always succeed with my working and studying, I still not satify with it at all. I would prefer sitting looking for my dreaming angel to involving in this busy world. I don't like this world, maybe!