Where is the moon tonight?

It is 3 am Saturday night. It is really a quiet night ever. I am sitting trying looking for the moon and the stars in the sky. But, I really cant find any one of them tonight. The wind blows strongly; the crickets are singing; the dogs are barking and people in the world are sleeping. But why I cant sleep at all. I cant concentrate on my stupid assignments and I dont really know what I am thinking of now. But, I just sense that my heart is crying for something. He told me that he felt like a fish out of water. I asked him what you really mean? He replied he did not know but just felt like that.

Then I asked him. Do you miss your previous owner? He replied that " not really". I asked another question that Are you falling in love with someone? He told me that " not really". Then I asked another question that Do you wanna have another owner? Again, he reacted that " not really". Then I realized that even though our brain is super educated or whatever, our brain never understands our heart language.

Every time I feel this way, I always go up to my roof and stair at the moon or stars then make a conversation with them. They always keep quiet and listen to every single word of mine. Their smiling seems to give me hopes and motivation. Even though, they say nothing, I feel that they always say the phrase "Go on, go on. Forget the past, do ur best in the present and dont worry about the future". Thanks for always supporting me, giving me hope, being there when I need and never giving me up. Thanks indeed.

A person who truely love you will never let you go, no matter how hard the situation is!

"A person who truely loves you will never let you go, no matter how hard the situation is" is a phrase that always remains in my brain. Before the 10th April 2010, I was a person who strongly believed in love. I always felt proud to have a girlfriend. I always introduced my girlfriend to everyone I know and told them her positive ways.

Being with her, I swore that never would I give up her alone. I would abandon everything including my work, my study and even my family. I told myself that I would never let my girl drop any tear because of me. I would make her to feel that she would be the luckiest girl in the world. I would let she know that choosing me as her husband was the right choice for her.

I used to think that nothing in this world I could not do or solve. Yet, when she called to me saying goodbye, I could not do anything but shedding my tear and heart instead. I really never dropped any tear since I was mature. But that time, my tear was unstoppable. My heart did not listen to me anymore. My brain seemed to stop working. My legs could not move. My hands tried to stop my tear dropped. My tear almost became an ocean. It was unforgettable.

Even though I am a stupid person in terms of characteristic, to love and to my girlfriend I am just a soft and weak person. Everyone who knows me would physically view that I am just an aggressive person; yes, in working and studying I am. I almost find no weakness in working and studying; I mean I always success. But people have to remember that no one is perfect. So, LOVE is in what I am worse.

I am an extreme person. If I love something or someone, I would never keep any percentage for another person or thing or even for myself. Because I think that only being an extreme person, I can taste the real meaning of those stuff, so does love.

I also ask the question that " why a person cant give up everything just for a person we love?" Why do lovers leave his/her beloved by saying that they still love the left persons? Just for a while, I came out with the above phrase that " A person who truely loves us will never let us go, no matter how hard the situation is". If she/he goes or leaves us, no matter the reason, she/he just doesn't love you enough. She/he doesn't mean or deserve your true love for them. No need to feel guilty since we are not the one break up promise and abandon our belovers.

True love is unlimited sacrifice. If someone thinks that he/she sacrifies enough for their love, they never know what exactly the meaning of true love. So, dont regret their leaving. Let it be!!!

Why still missing her???

If someone would often read my facebook posts and this blog, they would feel terrible about how I am so crazy with LOVE. But I dont care at all. If truely loving someone is wrong, I dont want to be right at all.

Today is the 6th November and it is the day that i feel so depressed because of missing a girl. I really wanna know how is she? she lives happily; she is not sick; does she has enough sleep and eat. Esp. I wanna know wheather is she still thinking and missing me like I do?

It is funny for me. There are many girls that I can give my love to or they can comfort me....but why my heart seems to be so stupid. It seems that my heart still not yet gets used to living without missing her and worrying of her.

Come on, she has her husband already. Do you think that you are the super man for her? Only you can make her smile and feel warm. Forget your stupid idea and clear out your stupid feeling. This term you have 8 courses and also write thesis; or you wanna fail your master here??

It is almost 8 months, so she already forget you hery na! You remembered she told you that she stopped loving you? She Loves that man, that is why she married that man. If she truely loves you, she would not abadon you in the very sad situation and in the time that you really need a person to talk to and comform te.

Just remember that "No True Love in this World". True love exists only in Novels or movies.

Does breaking love affect me???

Broken heart is such a hard-to-cure wound. She broken up with me on the 10th April 2010 at 10:30 Japanese time. As caculating, it has been 5 months now. Have this breaking affected me?? Yes, it surely does. Since she left me, it seems to me that I am living alone in this big world. Since she left me, I do not know which way should I walk since all my life plans are just for her. Since she left me, I am so sensitive and high tempered. Since she left me, time seems to walk so slow. Since she left me, I really lost myself. Since she left me, my study becomes worse. Since she left me, I usually go crazy. Since she left me, I lost all my belief in love. Since she left me, I feel so tired with life. Since she left me........I just know that how much I really love her. Since she left me, I am still the same; still missing her; still worrying of her; still dreaming of her; still lying myself that she is waiting for my return.

Yesterday (04 Aug 2010), I got my last term result--the term that I was so blue and super down. Within my 8 courses, I got 6 A, 1 B and 1 C. I really wanna cry, while seeing my grade. I cant get all A or A+. My GPA dropped from 4.2 to 3.9. I really feel ashamed to other foreinger friends who got nicer grade and higher GPA than me. I feel ashamed that I have made Camdodia down; I feel ashamed that I allow Love to ruin my study. Yet, I never feel ashamed or upset to have her as my girl even though she broke her million promises; even though she hurt me too much; even though I almost die because of her.....I still keep in mind that.........she has her own difficulties and reasons.....

I really can forgive her, but I am sure that never will I forget.....that....

Chet Mnus Srey pit chea dach nasssssss!

Today is Sunday 19th September 2010! It is the day that I strongly expect to see my ex girlfriend face. Even though she married to another man, but in my heart and brain alway think of her, worry of her and wanna see her live happily. I really wanna see her nas, so I ask her friend to arrange a meeting among friends so she would come and I could see her. But what I expect just like the same, she never cares of me. As she knows i would be in the meeting too, she asks her friend to bring her huband with her. I feel disappointed and really know her heart today.

What I had done for her for the past several years would never satify her at all. Maybe she never had true love with me at all. Or maybe she loves two men at the same time........................................................................................................